


How to Get Your Crush to Notice You

by carolee_sea



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, M/M, Social Media, i hate this, i have no idea what i was thinking while writing this, mostly just tumblr memes, you probably will too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-07-27 08:49:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7611481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolee_sea/pseuds/carolee_sea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chrollo has a huge crush on Kurapika and he is trying to catch his eye. With no better plans, he turns to the help of the Internet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure crack and most of it doesn't make any sense.  
> ref used. Some various parts of the article are put in this. 
> 
> Inspired by [this bnha fic](%E2%80%9D) that gave me a nice laugh.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! :)

Chrollo sighed, staring out the church window. Beautiful golden light filtered through trees and dappled pretty patterns into the spacious room. Truly a gift from God. Books were strewn all around the dark-haired male. It almost looked like a demon summoning ritual. Chrollo groaned and facepalmed, throwing yet another rejected book into the pile. 

“This isn’t working. Why isn’t it working?” he muttered. 

“What’s up?” a blonde piped up, walking into the tranquil room. It was Shalnark. 

Chrollo turned to Shalnark, looking mildly annoyed.

“Well, I’ve been reading a whole lot more of romance books. Such as Twilight. Ever heard of that one? Horrible.” Chrollo shuddered. 

“Still at it?” Shalnark walked over and sat down next to Chrollo. 

“What happened last time?” Shalnark asked the Spiderhead. 

“I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just say it didn’t work out so well.

Shalnark chuckled lightly. “Trying to seduce someone who absolutely hates you is pretty hard,” he admitted. “What are you gonna do this time?”

Chrollo straightened up and prepared for an inspiring speech. “Books have everything. They are everything. They contain all the knowledge and wisdom of the world. All of the troubles and accomplishments of past generations have been recorded down to aid us in the journey of the future. Let us learn from the failures of the past and make the world a better place.”

Shalnark was awestruck for a couple a seconds.

“So... You’re trying to do what the people in romance books do... in order to win Kurapika over?”

“Exactly!” Chrollo nodded in satisfaction. “I’m so glad I picked you to be one of my Spiders. You are one of the few people in this horrible world who truly understands me.”

“Well, it’s a good idea.. But...” Vivid images flashed through Shalnark’s mind. He saw Chrollo kneeling in front of Kurapika with a red rose, pouring out his heart with quotes from old romance novels. “O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do, they pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair!” he swooned to Kurapika. The image faded away. Shalnark shuddered.

“I have a better idea. I’m pretty sure...No, very sure, it will succeed. 100% chance, no kidding.”

“What is it?!” Chrollo cried. “I must know!”

“I recommend Google,” Shalnark said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't think the links worked >:( but here's chap 2 :

**PART 1** \- Appearing Friendly to Your Crush  
 _SMILE and laugh._   
A happy face makes you appear approachable, friendly, and fun. This is exactly what you want to look like if you want your crush to notice and approach you. Not smiling can make you look disinterested or even hostile.

Chrollo re-read the Wikihow article again to calm his nerves. “Okay,” he said. “I can do this.”

He peeked from behind the wall he was hiding from. Not too far away he could spot a slender figure with blonde hair in a casual hoodie and skinny jeans. Chrollo stared intensely at the beautiful body. What a nice ass, he thought. The thief was just about to reveal himself to the lovely boy when he noticed a silver-haired kid next to the Kurta. He looked again and there was another kid with spiky green-black hair. 

“Oh shit,” Chrollo groaned. He was already out of his hiding spot. 

Apparently Kurapika’s ears were pretty sharp, and the blonde whipped around to spot Chrollo. Chrollo froze. 

What to do now? The stupid damned article didn’t say anything about what to do if his friends were nearby! Was he supposed to smile at Kurapika while they were alone? Chrollo was panicking inwardly. 

“Chrollo!” Kurapika growled, and the animal-like sound made Chrollo tremble with excitement. The way Kurapika said his name turned him on. 

“Kurapika. How are you doing?” he said pleasantly, smiling as wide as he could. 

He could see the silver-haired kid, Killua, he remembered, looking mildly disgusted. The other kid, Gon, he assumed, just looked confused. 

“What are you doing here?” Kurapika pressed on, ignoring Chrollo’s greeting. 

Chrollo thought about the article again, and then laughed. At first it kinda sounded like choking. He hoped it didn’t sound too creepy. He stopped after a few seconds and smirked again at the Kurta. 

Kurapika was looking at him with an indecipherable expression on his face. 

“What the fuck was that?” he heard Killua whispering to Gon. “That laugh was hella creepy. Is he going nuts?”

Kurapika was staring into Chrollo’s dark, pretty eyes. The connection made the Spiderhead swoon. Then the blonde looked away and sighed. “If you’re not going to say or do anything, I suggest you leave. I’m a busy person.” 

“Ahhh, well.. You know..” Chrollo fished around for something to say. The article was no help at all! It didn’t tell him when to smile or what to do in awkward situations. Perhaps he would have to go back and study it again. 

“I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” Chrollo flashed another one of his winning smiles at Kurapika. “You work so hard and I bet you’re really tired all the time. You should really take a day off.” 

Kurapika hesitated for a second, blinking. Then his eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What are you... Are you trying to make a fool of me?”

“We should leave. Let’s go find Leorio,” Gon whispered to Killua, and they both slipped away to roam the town. 

“No.. no! Not at all! Just worried about your well-being!” Chrollo was sweating slightly now. This should be a good time to laugh, he thought, praising himself on his awesome adaptability. He let out another laugh. This time it didn’t sound like choking at all (more like maniacal laughing). He finished it off with a grin. 

This time the expression on Kurapika’s face was one of disgust. 

“Get away from me. I have no idea what you want of me, but I will not be made a fool of.” the Kurta replied coldly, and then turned around to walk away from Chrollo as fast as he could. 

Chrollo was still grinning creepily until Kurapika was out of sight. His head was still not processing the crushing rejection. 

“I think I have to study more,” he said to himself, deep in thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um so there are a lot of Tumblr meme references in this (because I have no idea what I was writing). I wonder what kind of stuff Chrollo would post on his Tumblr though...

**PART 2** \- Getting to know your crush’s friends  
_Talk to them too!_  
This can help you learn more about your crush to help you determine whether you are truly compatible or not. It can also lead to increased interactions with your crush, which will make it more likely that they will notice you. Of course, there’s always the added bonus of making new friends too, even if your crush never notices you.

“Ugh,” Chrollo groaned. “I’d rather not talk to either one of those kids or that obstinate doctor, but I guess I’ll have to try.”  
“But this time, I’m going to make a foolproof plan.”

_A few hours later..._

_After finishing his plan, Chrollo goes to sleep because it’s like 3 AM and he needs to look his best for the challenges of tomorrow. Unfortunately, he can’t resist the temptation of blazing it at 4:20 AM, so he blazes it on his Tumblr and then goes to sleep._

_The next day..._

Luckily, Kurapika and his friends were still in the town. Chrollo snuck around the village trying to find them. He finally located the object of his love and the others in a little hat shop. He hid behind a rack full of clothes. The kids Gon and Killua were trying on some goofy-looking hats, laughing and having a good time. Even the medical student was joking around with them. The beautiful blonde boy was standing near them, politely looking on with a reserved expression. Oh, how Chrollo wanted to take that mask off and see the expression on his face when he fucked him-

“Leorio. Gon, Killua. If you don’t mind, I’ll be leaving to another store,” Kurapika spoke up. 

“I’ll come with you,” Leorio took his funky looking cowboy hat off. “Now, don’t wander off too far and behave, alright?” he turned to the two kids.

“Yes, sir!” Gon saluted the doctor, his way-too-big hat falling over his eyes. Killua grumbled something as his friend tossed a magenta scarf over Kurapika’s head. Kurapika offered a little smile of amusement as he took it off.

Kurapika and Leorio left the shop, and Chrollo chuckled silently at his luck. Great, now he could talk the kids without the Kurta in the vicinity.

The dark-haired male sauntered over to his unsuspecting victims. He had thought out his plan quite well. He knew all kids loved candy, and he had brought some chocobots with him. He scooted close enough that the kids would notice him. 

And they did. 

“Hey, isn’t that the Danchou spider guy that Kurapika hates?”

Ouch. Well, in a few minutes he would be best buddies with the two little brats and Kurapika would view him as something else.

He turned towards them with a smile. “Hello, nice to see you here,” he said in his silky smooth voice.

“What are you doing here?” Gon inquired. 

“Hmmm? Well....” Chrollo thought back to this trendy Tumblr meme he had seen on the internet. Everyone loves memes, so he gave it a try. “I like your shoelaces.”

There was a long pause. “Um, thank you?” Gon hesitantly replied.

“What the fuck, I don’t even have any shoelaces,” Killua said, looking down at his lame-ass shoes.

Chrollo sighed inwardly and deduced that none of them had a tumblr. Of course, they were too young for all that NSFW shit. He tried again. “How are you two doing?”

“Fine!” Gon beamed, forgetting about what had just happened. Suddenly his stomach growled. “Well, actually I’m getting a bit hungry. I hope Kurapika and Leorio come back soon...”

“You don’t have to wait for them, really. I’ll take you to lunch,” Chrollo offered. This was the perfect opportunity.

Gon was about to speak when Killua cut him off. “We would, but no thanks. We were told to stay here, so yeah.”

“Just for a couple of minutes. Besides, you’re still in the area. They can find you easily,” Chrollo pressed on. 

“Killua, let’s go! He’s not dangerous!” Gon tugged at Killua’s sleeve.

“Okay fine.” Killua sighed. “Don’t blame me if we get in trouble.” With that, he followed his friend. 

 

Chrollo led them to a nice-looking cafe a few shops away from the hat place. He took careful measures to get them a spot outside, so Kurapika could potentially see them if he walked by. Chrollo was brimming with delight because his plan was working better than he expected. 

“Want some candy while we wait for the order?” he offered the chocobots. 

He noted that Killua’s eyes lit up when he saw the treats. Gon was always happy, and the candy made his mood even better. 

“So, how’s your family and stuff?” Chrollo, asked, which was the first thing he could think of because he had no idea what children talked about. 

“Ehh, I never talk to those creeps anyway. They’re all assassins, you know. I had to stab my mother and brother to get out of the house. It was totally worth it though,” Killua replied, slinging an arm around Gon’s shoulders. 

_What a strange family,_ Chrollo thought to himself.

“Well... Mito-san is doing alright, but she probably misses me, and.. I’m still looking for my dad,” Gon said awkwardly. 

“Where did your dad go?” Chrollo asked, actually genuinely interested.

“Ahh, Gon’s old man ditched him when Gon was born and we have no idea where he is,” Killua explained.

“What an irresponsible father,” Chrollo commented.

“Well, I think he’s pretty cool! He’s the greatest Hunter ever!” Gon defended. 

There was a long, awkward silence, and the conversation was saved by the waitress, who came with their drinks and food. Chrollo’s mind worked quickly to get him out of the awkward situation. 

“So, I heard you two took the Hunter exam a while back. What was it like? Shal is always telling us to get a license,” Chrollo continued asking.

“Oh, I can tell you all about it!” Gon seemed happy again, and launched into stories about his adventures. Chrollo listened with detached interest, and Killua cut in sometimes to add a few details.

Chrollo was getting a bit impatient. Where was Kurapika? He was still pretty elated over his victory with the two kids though. _I noticed Pika is very close to that annoying doctor as well. I may need to talk to that guy too. It should be easier than dealing with these kids._

Well, speak of the devil.

“There you two are!” bellowed a voice from a bit away. “Why the hell are you sitting with that man! Get back here at once!” Chrollo winced. It was Leorio.

“I knew we would get in trouble,” Killua muttered as the furious doctor walked towards them.

Leorio stopped in front of their table and scrutinized them closely. “What the hell were you doing with Gon and Killua, eh?” he asked Chrollo suspiciously.

“It was a mere coincidence I ran into them,” Chrollo answered innocently. “They were getting hungry, so I took them out for lunch.”

Leorio was still fuming at Chrollo until Killua spoke up.

“Ayy, he’s telling the truth, we’re totally fine. Let’s go,” Killua sighed.

Leorio glared at Chrollo one last time before he turned away.

“Thanks for the meal!” Gon shouted to Chrollo.

Chrollo thought fast and decided he would take the chance. “Leorio! I like your shoelaces,” he called out to the retreating man.

Leorio looked back, a bit startled, and then looked down at his shoes. 

“What the hell are you playing at?! I have no shoelaces!” he roared before stalking off even faster. 

Killua was looking at Chrollo strangely. “Yo Gon, do you think that’s what all Spiders say to each other as a greeting or something? Some cool gang shit?” he whispered to his homie. 

“I think so!” Gon said. “We should make our own special greeting too, Killua!” he suggested. 

They trailed behind Leorio, chatting loudly until Chrollo couldn’t hear them anymore. He leaned back against his chair, feeling tired. “I never want to deal with kids again,” he groaned. Chrollo was disappointed that he didn’t get to interact with his blonde beauty. He only hoped that the kids would mention his good deeds to the Kurta some time.

“Mission accomplished,” Chrollo whispered. “Time for another plan.”


	4. Chapter 4

**PART 3** \- Flirting subtly with your crush  
_Section 1: Touch Incidentally_  
If you sit down next to your crush and your legs bump each other, pay attention to whether they jump away quickly or let their leg linger. If they let the touch continue, it’s possible that they are interested in you, so you might want to escalate the touch ever-so-slightly by casually letting your arm touch theirs the next time you’re at your lockers together.  
-Don’t escalate until your crush reciprocates or lingers.  
-They might also be super shy and feel terrified when their arm touches yours, so be respectful of their comfort level and don’t touch them if they seem uncomfortable. Even if they jump away when you touch, that doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t like you, so try some other tactics if you suspect that’s the case.

After another sleepless night of plotting, Chrollo woke up and got ready to play another game of hide-and-seek.

The most logical place that Kurapika could be was... the bookstore! Of course! Chrollo thought that Pika was sometimes such a nerd, but Chrollo considered himself a nerd too, and so he concluded that all nerds are hot and sexy. 

There were actually a few bookstores in the small town, so Chrollo had to search quite a while to find the Kurta. He finally found the blonde in a quiet aisle in a quaint little shop. Chrollo held his breath as he stood for the longest time just silently studying the boy’s features. The warm light setting a glow to the room reminded Chrollo of that day in the church. _This is it, my fated encounter_ , Chrollo thought. Kurapika was standing by the books, and with the dusky atmosphere, it seemed like such a peaceful, natural scene. The blonde was looking intensely at the spines of the books, with a thoughtful frown on his pretty face. His soft blonde hair fell perfectly around his ears. The hair glowed in the light, almost like an angelic halo. Chrollo could even see his ruby earring glinting beneath the golden locks. 

Then the Kurta shifted slightly and pushed himself onto his toes to look at the books in the top of the shelf. Chrollo noticed he was carrying a small, thin book. After a few seconds, he bent down to search the books at the bottom. Trying to not stare at his ass, Chrollo finally made his move and purposefully bumped into the boy. 

Kurapika made a soft little noise and Chrollo apologized profusely as part of his plan. Kurapika looked up at him with wide kawaii eyes. “Chrollo,” he said in a softer tone than intended because of his surprise. He stood up. “Are you looking for something?”

Chrollo was surprised by the boy’s kindness today. Maybe it was the power of books that was making his plan work so well. If there was a book god somewhere, Chrollo would surely worship it and pray everyday. 

“Uhm, well...” Chrollo quickly scanned the bookshelves. He was a bit taken back because the entire section Kurapika was standing in front of was books about chains. Chrollo had no idea that Pika was into that kinky BDSM shit. 

“Fifty Shades of Grey,” Chrollo blurted out, because that was the first book that came to mind when he thought about chains. “Yeah, I’m looking for that book, and I thought this would be the place to find it.”

Kurapika gaped at him for a moment, and then his face gradually started heating up. He averted his gaze, blushing furiously. “This is.. the nonfiction area, so I don’t think you’ll find it here...” he muttered. 

“Oh well, could you help me find it then, after you’re done finding whatever you’re looking for?” Chrollo asked, finding the way Pika was acting incredibly cute. The Kurta flushed even more. _This is the perfect chance to touch him!_ Chrollo thought. He reached out for the blonde’s arm.

“What’s that book you’re holding?”

“Ah, well...” Kurapika didn’t shy away from Chrollo’s touch, but he awkwardly turned the book face up. The cover read: _The Art of Memes._

Chrollo gasped audibly. _Could it be?_ he frantically thought. “Pika...”

Kurapika looked pointedly away even more. He was radiating restlessness, like he desperately wanted to leave.

“I like your shoelaces.” 

Kurapika quickly turned towards Chrollo, looking surprised. “Thanks, I stole them from the president,” he replied. 

This time Chrollo was the one surprised.

“Pika, you meme too? You have... a tumblr?”

“Yes,” Kurapika quietly confirmed. 

“Omg, what’s your username? I must follow you,” Chrollo gushed, completely forgetting the plan in his excitement.

“Um, chain-user-420,” Kurapika said, whipping out his phone. He looked unbelieving too. 

In a few seconds Kurapika saw that danchou-spider was following him. 

“Ah, I’d appreciate it if you would stalk my dash later on instead?” Kurapika requested, when he saw the spam of notes starting.

“Oh sure, sorry,” Chrollo replied easily, pocketing his phone.

“Were you looking for any book in particular? I can help you find it,” Chrollo continued.

“I’m fine,” Kurapika said distractedly, scanning the shelves again.

“I found it,” he remarked, trying to reach the top shelf for a book.

A shock struck Chrollo’s brain, and he instinctively moved closer to the blonde. Then his plan came rushing back into his mind, so he pressed himself against the boy and reached up for the book he was going to get. His arm knocked lightly against the Kurta’s as he got the book. Kurapika let his arm fall and stood there awkwardly with his back pressed against Chrollo. It kinda seemed like he was slouching out of discomfort. But he wasn’t moving away. _He’s so agreeable today_ , Chrollo thought gleefully. Chrollo could feel the warmth of Kurapika’s back and hear his quiet, even breathing. 

“Is this the one?” Chrollo handed the book over.

“Yes, thank you,” Kurapika breathed. 

The book was titled: _How to Draw Quick N Easy Chains 101._

Chrollo raised an eyebrow. “Uhh, I’m not judging, but you have a chain obsession, don’t you?”

Kurapika didn’t reply, just flipped through the book quickly. 

“Ahhh, I get it now. This is a very reliable book. Great author. There was a shortcut to drawing chains after all. I’ve been having trouble drawing them,” he finally said. 

Chrollo tried to get a look at the author. “Elusive Elisa? I’ve heard of her work. She has amazing art.” _I’d love to go and steal her drawings sometime in the future. I hope her house doesn’t have guards_ , Chrollo thought privately to himself.

The Kurta made a little hum of agreement. 

“So, uh, are you, what are you drawing chains for? Do you draw hot yaoi hentai with BDSM? That’s a pretty cool hobby. Can I see some of your art maybe?”

Kurapika blinked at Chrollo as a blush spread across his face again. “No,” he squeaked. “I draw chains for personal reasons, not for any of that, please don’t ask about it,” he quickly explained.

_Being in bed with him would be so much fun. I wonder what other kinds of toys he has? Maybe he has... a sex dungeon too? Ooh kinky_ , Chrollo’s imagination was running wild.

“You’re looking for... 50 shades of grey, am I right?” Kurapika interrupted Chrollo’s dirty thoughts.

“Yeah, I’ve been reading romance books lately,” Chrollo replied.

Kurapika frowned. “I don’t actually consider 50 shades to be a romance book. Or at least, not the ideal one. The relationship.. just isn't my type...”

“Wait... you’ve read it?” Chrollo was dumbfounded. Pika was surprising him more and more every minute. 

“Well, Killua recommended it,” Kurapika looked away, blushing again.

Chrollo whistled. No wonder that little kid was so dirty-mouthed. He wondered what other sorts of things the brat did. Chrollo felt a rush of anger towards the kid for corrupting his innocent Pika.

“Well then, shall we go look for it?” Pika suggested. 

“Okay, let’s go,” Chrollo took the blonde’s hand, pulling him in some random direction.

The Kurta was tugging on his hand, dragging Chrollo to a stop.

“..Something wrong?”

“Umm, we’re going the wrong way. I believe the romance fiction section is that way,” Kurapika pointed towards the opposite direction. 

“Yeah. Right,” Chrollo pulled Kurapika the other way, not loosening his grip on the Kurta. Surprisingly, the boy didn’t move his hand away. Chrollo felt a thrill of accomplishment. Things were going smoothly and better than he expected. 

 

After a while, they both found their books and purchased them. Kurapika was a tad embarrassed to be seen with his books, so Chrollo fearlessly went up to the counter to help his crush buy them. 

“So... do you want to go get some coffee?” Chrollo attempted at asking Pika out as they exited the store. Chrollo’s heart was thumping wildly with anticipation. “I’d like to know more about your hobbies.”

“Okay. I guess I do have some time,” Kurapika replied easily, and Chrollo inwardly breathed a sigh of relief as they started towards Starbucks. 

 

They entered Starbucks, and Chrollo had a sudden urge to check Wikihow again just in case he screwed up somewhere along the way. 

“Hey, Pika, do you mind helping me order? I need to check something on my phone,” Chrollo asked the blonde.

“No problem.”

Chrollo gave Kurapika his order and the money and quickly checked the article. 

**PART 3** \- Flirting subtly with your crush  
_Section 2: Be yourself_  
This is the hardest part! If you try to follow every piece of advice you have ever heard about getting someone to notice you, you may find that you feel fake or overwhelmed. When in doubt, just try to act as naturally as possible. Treat your crush like you treat your friends, and odds are good they’ll pay attention to you eventually. 

Chrollo smiled evilly. He had already pretty much achieved this part of the plan! All he had to do was to talk meme to Pika. 

“Iced, Half Caff, Ristretto, Venti, 4-Pump, Sugar Free, Cinnamon, Dolce Soy Skinny Latte, for...Quwrof Wrlccywrlir?” a voice called from the counter. 

Chrollo stood up to get his drink. The lady who had his drink looked super pissed at him. He didn’t know if it was the obnoxious order he placed or his obnoxious name, but he secretly felt satisfied inside.

He went back to Pika, who had ordered the simple hot chocolate. 

“No black coffee or frappuccinos for you?” Chrollo teased the blonde. He didn’t think that the Kurta would be quite so... childish.

Kurapika gave him a look. “Are you being stereotypical? Just because my personality is the way it is doesn’t mean I like those kinds of drinks,” he said.

“Ahh, so I can assume vodka is one of your prefered drinks also?” Chrollo grinned, letting his true evil personality show.

Kurapika glared at Chrollo over the rim of his cup. He ignored the question and didn’t further pursue the conversation. 

After a silence where they just enjoyed their drinks, Chrollo asked, “So, tell me more about your memes.”

“Just check my tumblr.” Kurapika dismissed any further talking with a wave of his hand.

Chrollo took out his phone and started scrolling down Pika’s dash while the blonde continued sulking over his hot chocolate.

 

After a few minutes, Kurapika glanced at the dark-haired man, who had been quiet for a long while.

The blonde was surprised as he saw tears rolling down Chrollo’s cheek. The Spider was silently crying.

“What? What’s wrong?” Kurapika inquired.

Chrollo wiped the tears off delicately and turned towards Kurapika with sorrowful eyes. “Well.. it’s just... your blog is..so beautiful,” he sniffed.

Kurapika was taken back by Chrollo’s comment. He couldn’t speak for a couple of seconds. He choked on his drink as he attempted to speak.

“Chrollo. No one... has ever said that to me. I- my friends... I can’t ever show them my meme blog. They’ll judge me! Especially Leorio. He almost caught me reblogging Pepes once! And Gon! He wouldn’t let me watch TV with him after he saw me memeing!” Kurapika ranted.

“You’re the only one who understands me, Chrollo. I’m... touched. I never thought I would say this, but.. thank you.”

This brought Kurapika to the verge of tears, and he reached for his drink to calm himself down. The hot chocolate was now cold and disgusting. Kurapika cried.

“It’s okay, Pika.” Chrollo wrapped his arm around the Kurta’s shoulders. “I’m here for you,” he consoled and offered the blonde a warm hand.

Kurapika held Chrollo’s hand and sobbed. Chrollo scooted closer and reassuringly patted Kurapika’s back. He was also crying.  
They were one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um so, in case you were wondering, Elisa is my irl life friend and that was a reference to a conversation we had a while ago about drawing chains. (her art account is tealisarts on tumblr if you want to check it out, but I think she made new one? anyways that account is on like a togashi hiatus *shameless advertising*)  
> The memes are very abundant in this chapter. One of my inspirations for some of the memes here is badlydrawnhxh on tumblr :)  
> In the middle of this I couldn't really find a way to end it, but somehow I bullshitted my way through it. Yes, a while ago I was searching up "most obnoxious starbucks orders" because tbh I don't know how to order anything at starbucks. 
> 
> Enjoy, I guess? ♥


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Inktober and this fanfic is coming to an end! Thanks to everyone who left kudos and comments :) I love you guys ♥  
> A probably bit shorter than you would expect ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ but there's a nice, happy ending.

_A few months later..._

It was snowing. Pale, fluffy snowflakes floated around the air. There were a few piles of snow tucked away in the corners of the buildings and a thin layer of ice covering the streets.  
Kurapika was standing outside a cafe. His breath frosted out as he looked up at the wintery sky in delight. Still smiling, he checked his phone once again. _I’ll be there soon_ , the text message read. _Stop coming so early, it makes me feel bad_ , a message popped up. 

_I’m here._

Kurapika quickly looked up and saw his boyfriend. The said man had on very black attire, with a fashionable leather jacket, skinny jeans, and boots. His hair was down and some wisps covered his dark pretty eyes. His entire outfit complimented his ivory skin. There was a mysterious smile playing on his pale pink lips. Kurapika held his breath as the man walked closer. 

Chrollo could see the golden head of his boyfriend even from a block away. As he got closer, his heart started beating faster. _Goddammit how does he manage to look so hot and also adoringly cute and the same time?_ Chrollo thought as his calculating eyes swept over the slim figure. Kurapika was wrapped up in a cream jacket that almost matched his skin color, excluding the light blush on his frost-covered cheeks. He also had on a bright red scarf that covered up to his chin and casual grey sweatpants. Chrollo tried to blank his mind of the many dirty thoughts he was having and pleasantly said to Kurapika, “How about we go inside?”

In a few seconds they were in the warm cafe, the comforting aroma of coffee filling the air. They got their drinks and headed for the little library area.

“You know, this reminds me of the first time we got drinks together,” Chrollo commented, eyeing Kurapika’s hot chocolate.

“Yes indeed. Who else would drink iced lattes in winter?” Kurapika replied coolly. 

“Ouch. You’re as sassy as ever,” Chrollo winced. “And by the way, it’s actually an iced, half caff, ristretto, venti, 4-pump, sugar free, cinnamon, dolce soy skinny latte,” he corrected.

“And your order is as obnoxious as ever,” Kurapika countered again.

Chrollo knew he couldn’t win against the smart-mouthed blonde, so he got his revenge in a different way.

Chrollo leaned over and hovered close to the side of Kurapika’s neck. The Kurta froze instinctively and Chrollo made sure to blow right on Kurapika’s neck before he pressed his lips onto the over-sensitive skin. His lips curved into a small, victorious smile as he felt Kurapika shudder lightly. 

“You tease,” Kurapika hissed under his breath, although he was enjoying it. 

They continued their intimacy before they realized it was getting a bit out of hand and quickly hid behind the bookshelves out of public view. Kurapika was moaning quite loudly now, and Chrollo had to pull him into a deep kiss to shut him up before someone heard. After a few more kisses, they regretfully stopped so they could get down to business. 

“So,” Kurapika said seriously, as if the bruises on his neck and shoulders were never there. “Let’s start with posting on our meme blog.”

Chrollo smiled politely as usual, but both of them knew that behind that smile was a long long story. Chrollo had finally got the man of his dreams, and Kurapika had finally found someone who he could be himself with.

_Thank you, Internet_ , Chrollo thought gratefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this crack! Thanks for reading!


End file.
